


Enlightenment

by aban_ataashi



Series: A Little Bit Of Sunlight (Desta's Story) [3]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Bad Parenting, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24450268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/pseuds/aban_ataashi
Summary: For followers of Galawain, even blessings can be challenges.
Series: A Little Bit Of Sunlight (Desta's Story) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550872
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Enlightenment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rannadylin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rannadylin/gifts).



> For the prompt "Parting Words Regret" from Bad Things Happen Bingo

Blessings are rare things in the Living Lands.

Elayne should know; she has resided here, amongst the hills and forests and monsters, for over a century. Her soul has been molded by this harsh place, has been made strong enough to provide strength and guidance to those who would seek to serve Galawain. She stands tall as the High Priestess of the Seeker God’s temple, and though life here can be brutal, she has never asked for anything else.

She never asked to be a mother.

But Galawain does not act according to the whims of mortals. Elayne still remembers the day he delivered Desta to the temple. So young, yet obviously touched by the Seeker God’s power, carrying his essence of wilderness in her veins. The timing is fortuitous; Elayne is not quite past her prime, but she will not live forever. Someone must be trained to take her place.

That, she believes, is why this child has been brought to her. And it is never wise to turn away a blessing from Galawain.

Elayne is tending to the altar in the main temple hall when Desta finds her. That alone is enough to tell her something is wrong; Desta has only grown more and more stubborn as of late, and rarely consents to entering the main hall of her own volition.

But she is here now- not in her temple robes but in plain traveling gear, with a bag thrown over her shoulder and an obstinate look on her face, and Elayne knows what it is she wants before she even says a word.

Still, she stays silent and continues her work of tending to the altar. The statue of Galawain that overlooks the hall is carved from oak found deep in the Lands, his visage fierce and wise. Elayne inspects the warps of the wood, checking for signs of aging, letting the seconds tick past as Desta stands behind her.

Under normal circumstances, the child is hardly shy of speaking her mind. If Elayne hadn’t already guess the purpose of this visit, Desta’s hesitation would tell her all she needs to know.

At last, Desta finds her voice, and her simple statement falls softly against the temple walls. “I’m leaving.”

Only then does Elayne stop in her work to face Desta. “Are you?” She makes no effort to hide the disapproval in her voice. She and Desta have had conversations like this before; the girl knows exactly why this is a bad idea. “And where, exactly, are you going?”

Desta falters for a moment, adjusting her grip on the bag nervously. “I don’t know,” she admits. “But I can’t stay here. Isn’t that obvious by now?”

“Not at all. This is where you belong.”

“No, it _isn’t.”_ Desta’s voice cracks slightly as she repeats the same argument she’s tried to make a hundred times.

Elayne’s tone, in contrast, is steady as ever. “Galawain brought you here-”

“If Galawain brought me here on purpose he has a twisted sense of humor,” Desta snaps, although she deflates slightly when Elayne fixes her with a stern glare. “I’m sorry, but…you know as well I do this is hopeless. I’m never going to be a priestess like you.”

Elayne’s expression softens slightly, and she takes a step forward to rest a hand on Desta’s shoulder. “You are still young. I know things have not been these past few years. But you must not give up. You could be capable of great things here.”

Desta’s mouth tightens, and she crosses her arms in a sulky gesture. “You’ve let others leave.”

“As missionaries. They go to act as priests and spread Galawain’s message.” Try as she might to have patience, Elayne cannot stop the exasperation from seeping into her voice. “ _You_ cannot even recite a proper passage from the Book of the Hunt, nor have you made any progress with your magic lessons.”

“Because I don’t _want_ to be priestess!” Desta exclaims, pulling away from Elayne’s touch. “Why is that so hard to understand? I don’t want anything to do with Galawain!”

“ _Enough.”_ Desta’s protestations are one thing when made in her own chambers, but in front of Galawain’s altar they are another entirely. “This discussion is over. You are staying here until I decide you are ready to leave, and for now I say you are _not ready.”_

Elayne expects Desta to leave then, to run off and hide in the gardens until nightfall. That is how many of their previous arguments have ended. But this time, Desta stands her ground, clenching her bag tightly to her side, and begins reciting. “ _Galawain’s greatest desire for us is that prey becomes predator, mewling babes grow into strong hunters, and the lost find their own enlightenment.”_

The words are spoken through a clenched jaw, as if every statement is painful, but when she’s done Desta tilts her head up defiantly. “That’s a ‘proper passage’ from the Book of the Hunt, isn’t it? Kith should find their own enlightenment. So why won’t you let me find mine?”

“Because I know it is not true enlightenment you seek. You seek to flee from your duties, to renounce a life blessed by the gods- and for what?” Elayne’s knuckles tighten at her sides as she thinks about the world outside this temple- a world Desta is most certainly not prepared for, despite Elayne’s attempts at teaching. “You are not a healer, you are not a hunter. You are a dreamer who likes to grow flowers. The Living Lands will devour a child like you.”

Desta flinches, but she does not back down. “I’m not a _child._ I just believe there are better things out there than this constant talk of fighting and competition and forcing people to either be predator or prey!” Her brow furrows, and her eyes fill with that bright passion that Elayne always thought came straight from Galawain. She still thinks that, no matter how ironic it may seem in the moment.

But never before has Elayne seen those eyes filled with such _anger._ Desta takes a step back from Elayne and says, “Besides, you don’t know how strong I am. I don’t think you’ve ever really known me at all.”

Elayne scowls at the child before her- although looking at her now, she must admit that Desta is not a child any longer. Still so young, and foolish, and naïve. But not a child. Suddenly Elayne feels very tired, and she lets out a long sigh as she lets her gaze drift back to the statue of Galawain.

“I thought you were a blessing, when you first came here,” she says softly. “A sign from the Seeker himself.”

“I know. I’m sure I’m quite the disappointment to you both.”

Her words hang in the air for a long moment. Elayne has the feeling Desta is expecting some sort of response, but what does the priestess have left to give? She has taught the girl, raised her, tried to give her a life here _._ She has tried to impress upon her Galawain’s finest gift, more precious than any of Hylea’s pretty songs or the sunbeams of Eothas – _survival._

And Desta has never wanted any of it. She would rather hold tightly to her rosy-colored view of the world, no matter how much pain it will cause her in the end.

Elayne contemplates the imposing, unyielding face of her god and thinks, _So be it_.

“If you must go, then go,” she says quietly, her eyes still on the statue. “But remember I tried to stop you. Your death will not be on my conscience.”

Desta is quiet after that, and for a moment Elayne thinks she is reconsidering her plan. But then she turns, and without another word leaves Elayne alone in the temple.

Elayne stays in the temple for a long while that night, her head bowed before Galawain’s statue. She wonders, for the first time, if his decision to put Desta in her life was not a blessing, but a challenge.

If it is, it is one she has failed.


End file.
